Speaking Freely

"Hello, my name is Stupie(?) Deegunt(?) and I like to see The Sound of Music the other day at the Argile Theatre in London's West End. The tickets were £30 each and I very much enjoyed the show but why I enjoyed them was ruined by this stupid fat lady sitting behind me, rustling her plastic bag of sweets noisily throughout the entire bloody second half. Why oh why oh why do theatres sell sweets in such noisy bags? Cinemas do the same thing. If you're going to give gluttons sweets please supply them in noiseless bags not these bloody fire crackers that sound like, I don't know but it sound like golf balls landing on a tin roof. It's, it's horrible. Please get rid of these bags. This is Stupie(?) Deegant(?) from Milford in Surrey. Thank you. Bye."

spoken through SpinVox