Speaking Freely "Good morning this is Pataf(?)..."

"Good morning this is Pataf(?) calling from BT Dark(?) Solutions from the BT Phone Work Department. The call is to confirm there's one booked entry for the telephone number under ___ name Sierra Chagre(?) the telephone no. is 01517088556. Just so your unable to confirm the letting with you we are publishing in the BT Phone. If this is incorrect please do us a call back on 08000288604. Thank you. Goodbye."

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Speaking Freely "Hello, this is Amanda in Kingston...."

"Hello, this is Amanda in Kingston. We went to East Rober(?) restaurant yesterday. It seems to take 45 mins for drinks to arrive in fact they came after the food. Which was a bit annoying because the first thing you when you at the restaurant is to have a drink. So we can sit and relax. I haven't seen people in restaurant ___ like that. I think it's all about ignoring the customer's making themselves look important. I wouldn't mind, but there were many other people in there yesterday. Ok. Thanks a lot. Goodbye"

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Speaking Freely

"Hello kind just give you this piece of advice. If your going to get your passport renewed at the passport office in Victoria. While awaiting whatever you do, do not go near turf way across it's see Bloody useless the tea was disgusting. The wrote up my sandwich order wrong and then they tried to double bill me. I just spent 10 mins arguing to get my money back don't go there it's waste of time. Thank you."

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Is WH Smith trying to kill its customers?

It was mildly warm yesterday, with a light drizzle

And yet, WH Smith had its heaters on the Nuclear setting. It was unplesantly hot in thier shop, even when I took my jacket off.

You'd have thought one of the staff might have had the common sense to turn the heat down a bit.

Hang on, what am I saying? Common sense. That's not going to happen is it?

The Ha Ha bar in Kingston

This could be a great pub. It's right by the river.

But there's something about the drinks there.

The night I went, everyone was complaining. My friend's vodka tasted like water.

We tried Leffe, which tasted insipid.

While we were complaining, another customer came up and said he'd had the same problem.

The barman didn't seem surprised. He just said "Try one of the bottled beers, there won't be a problem with them."

All very odd.

Speaking Freely

"Hello, this Simon and I live in Kingston. I want to give a special word of thanks to the staff at the Wilkinson at the Kingston. They were 4 massive ___ queues(?) and people waiting to get served. Then the manageress came along and opened up and extra till(?) but she only opened it up it seems to serve one person who was another member of staff. When she bought her tin of snack pot presumably it was her lunch. The manageress then closed down the till(?) and then we all had to carry on waiting. Now that's what I call personalized services. Well done Wilkinson. Thanks for treating your customer like dirt. Thank you."

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Speaking Freely

"Hello, my name is Nigel Lig(?) and I want to complain about I was in the hairdressers and all the staff seemed to be gossiping about me quite loudly and they didn't hide the fact that they were sniggering and talking behind their hands. I could hear some certain phrases filtering through like oh you can tell it's a man and look at the hands look at the hands, they're a dead giveaway. How when I go and get my hair cut and styled I don't want people making jokes about me. I think that's not very nice. Anyhow I'll never be going to Hair Associates ever again. Goodbye."

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